fuming mad wit myself

anyeong..

it was so upsetting yesterday and today...

first my cousin invited me to go to dubai.. but we had this misunderstanding before so kuya doesnt believe her anymore..so let's say kuya really wanted to cut off any communication with her.. and dont want to bother them and vice versa to bother us. for me and mommy it was all in the past and we dont mind that anymore.. i didnt know that kuya still hold this grudge.. so in short he didnt permit me to go.. which is so sad and upsetting for e because i've been spoiling my life for almost a month here in the house where even i didnt do anything .. why i am being punished.. yes i saw this as punishment not as a pre caution or any safety.. but kuya still insisted that this is for our safety ... omg!!
i just dot want to argue nor fight with him so i justfollow his wishes.. but this is so much. i feel like im in prison here.. omo.. huhuhuu..
i was realy really mad at myself why this things happens to us.. im really such a failure...
and kuya this way of yours is not good too.. ill pity your family if you continue on like this...

huhuuhuuuu.... for this entire saturday i was just here...
and i told you before that i was talking this egyptian guy.. i dunno.. is he the one.. huuhuhuhu.. but i want white/caucasian... because i know we had different custom... but arrghh.. i dunno...