yaaahh.. what did i do??
but i feel okay and happy now.. although i have caused much problems to kha and mike..
ill find a way to solve things please just bear with me again...

they already talk to sir abdulla.. and i didnt ask how much they pay him.. but i think it was like 4k dhms.. whoaa that's a lot... and the bad news is that i already have ban of 6 months... greaatt..

and then i told you that i was also holding the cashier.. and you know what they did... they make me have a shortage of 500.. isnt that unbelievable... 500 exactly.. i told them that i would never have that shortage...

they say that they will call the police.. we waited  but no one came.. and of course i disturb carol adn jen.. but to make the story short.. carol and kuya decided to pay the 500.. damn.. those fucking liers and money lovers.... i swore to the grave that they will never have a quiet life....

the sad life story of ine in AUH.... fuck!!!!
this time is sadder because i was never able to get any and the money i've used up!! is soooo much.. i think it was like 200k php.. DAMN!!! AL ASEEL PRINTING SERVICES.

i think this what happen... in the cash receiving form and the small receipt..it tallied but in the cash register reading it did not.. so it means someone might have punched that damn 500.. and they are not letting me see that 500 punched in the total cash reg..  so there is something really wrong. they did not let us compare the small receipt to the total reading.. CURSE CURSE YOU!

malak you know the truth, i did nothing wrong... please speak up.. how many filipino no..how many employees of your damn company have experienced like i have.... why are you just shutting up your mouth....

and i know this fucking abu salam did this...!! he just always read the cash reg every morning..so how come they read that tonight.. anyways just what kha and mike said that evenif we are right we will never gonna win.

yes.. I am!
that's why my life has never been so great.....

tsk.. tsk.. tsk...


its time to let go minna...
the bottle of oyster dropped and spilled.. and it is one of my faverite seasoning..
so this means.. im broken... im really a lousy and failed human...

sorryy............

haller..

i've talked to christine this morning..she said i can still back down since i dont have the residence visa yet..
its just that i have to pay all the expenses.. waahh..
how much would that be kaya??

i needed to break through....

i am really trying my best.. but still..

the workload are too much.. and the manners and personality of them..
are freaking me out...

christine also told me that even if she's gonna be on my place.. she cant' take it.

should i post a rainbow sign.. is there any hope i can see from the future..
sigh....

LORD is it the final sign for me to back down..
even CHRISTINE can't take it anymore...

huhuhu

oomoo..


just kill me...
tangna...

madali lang daw...
sabi mo artehan ko.. sabi mo lagyan ng mga kung anu anu..
and besides is this only the one i did..

im also doing something..
 pakyu kayo...

and then  you still have many complains..
im doing everything.. doing my best...
still not good enough.. of course i cant do it alone.. give me someone who will help me..
pakers...

haaya nakakaasar talaga..

LORD please what to do..???

waaahhh...

help i need HELP.....

sheeet...
i still have pending projects,, and these fucking madam is asking me always.. and his fucking husband.. always sees me... he's accusing me always.. SHIT AL ASEEL...

fuck that project ... so many things to scribble and add kaya....
tapos may endless complain pa...

of course i was being reported again.. and galit na galit na naman sila...

shiit.. i really wanted to go na sana kaya lang..waahhh ...
shiiitt talaga...

and there's this pinay customer was being mistreated..as in kawawa naman.. hope mag-complain sila.

and the job order of the translation..sana un lumabas..bakit andun na.. fuck..

anyeong!!


haaaayy.. thanks god its friday...

i have to stay late at bed..woke up at 11pm.. yattta!!

but still im so freakin' angry wit yabang.. argghh.. still insisting to finish the damn research tomorrow.. ottoke?????

bahala sila... ewan ko sa kanila...


will go to mass later...

LORD please let there be someone... talaga who will save me... from this slavery life at AL ASEEL..

so the girl im telling is the assistant of SIR at talaween.. haay i thought there someone na makakasama ako.. haaay..

so she talk to me this morning because tanda..make sumbong again that i wasnt doing anything again.. at im jsut talking or chit chatting.a.wtf..eh he didnt even listen to me when he ask.. pakyu talaga un.

tapos sabi pa niya lier daw ako .. dun sa pinay.. haaay waaahh


i soooo hate that place..

and still that fucking translation job order cant find.. asn ka na ba?? awaaaa
baka naman kasi na sa kanila..kasi its so impossible na mawala un..
anyways..about kay yabang ayan.. nagalit na naman kasi mali ung print ko na power point.. eh nde ko siya na gets..so i asked him again if one slide per sheet.. uu daw.. tapos ayun ginawa ko , nagalit... waaahh..tapos he said that i told you to print 9 slides in one sheet.. then i replied back.. sir i ask you again if i will print it in one page .. he said yes kaya.. pero . nde na ko pinatapos.. pakyu talaga... nde rin niya ko pinakinggan na tinanong ko siya ulit.. tapos he said yes..tangna talaga sila..


then there's 3 new projects na naman... pero case study pa.. PAKYU talaga sila..
mga hayop..

waaa...


please LORD let there be someone who will save me in this damn fucking hell place.. AL ASEEL PRINTING.. PAkers...|


ayan.. si yabang naman umariba... he sent me 2 projects which is case study questionaire and guess what.. a research.. pakyung un.. i have to finish both daw in saturday.. gago pala siya.. anung gagawin.. do it at home.. sabi ko sir research paper takes time.. eh.. gago sa pinakagago pala talaga un.. HAYOP.. bobo.. nde makaintindi.. anung gagawin ko.. please kill me now..

anyeong!


wake up early.. and kuya join me in attending the mass...
whoa... i can say that there still many catholics here...

thanks GOD i was able to fulfill this one... but i wasnt' able stick up to 30 days/40 days abstinence of meat.. i ate torta with ground beef for lunch..

then,, the same thing happen at AL ASEEL, still im scared to my two employers.... actually im scared to all of them..mga may SAYAD/Topak sa ulo!

naman, pinagalitan ako... haayy when will come a day na mawawala sa shop yang si tanda...
and there\s this document/job order that's missing and of course who's responsibility is that.. haay... they told me to look for it but they dont want me to look it in their desk, what if they mistakenly took it or what if it was inserted in the documents they have... sighness,,  what a freakin' fucking life, sorry for the bad words LORD,

and tanda told me that he doesnt want to see me at the work area, talking to allan, haaay i was just asking.. he never let me say anything..he ask me what am i doing there..but he never let me utter any word..so what a fucking person... and he even told me that bad staff was causing a damage to their equipment.. he ask again are you a bad staff.or good..of course i said im not a bad staff..and he answered.let's see... so i was under investigation..mga suspicious,basta mga bad sila. they are worried for the job orders because , they think someone may see it and make a copy.. because i know that service are not covered even doing the school project, study cases and other school related staff that concerns researching are not included in their business proposal/services.. haaay sana nga may magsumbong sa kanila and have an investigation.. let the company closed down.. mga behlat... haay so that i can escape in this hell life too. huhuhuhuhu...

im still praying for someone who will save me at the hell life....

maligayang kaarawan sa aking pinakamamahal na INA, the best mom in the world.

Happy birthday mommy, you dont know how much you mean to us ni kuya... we're very sorry cause until now we havent' repaid the love and care you've showered to us especially me.. i've been a unproductive daughter to you in any ways...

just please ma, hold on and wait for some time... always be healthy and lovely always...

i wish you could feel the bountiful love we have for you!

SORRY for all the mistakes i did in the past.....

We love you so much! muahhhhh...

kon^

yeah its my special day.. but nothing seems special.. anyways.. we celebrated it last night.. kuya and i ate at wendys then we bought ingredients for white sauce spaghetti..my bestfriend louise called me and greeted me... then you know talk a little... tod her that i was having problem form my current jib..but what to do.. thats the way life is... then cook it when i came home last night.. then went to madinat abu dhabi coop to walk after we ate the pasta....


went home at 2:00 am then sleep...  haaaiissshh...

this morning.. was so many work too.. busyness... have to make a print out...
damn... madam.. now was pointing to me that it was me who misunderstood about that printing chorva.. aiisshhh..

then have this visa application..damn again..the one who was asking for it doesnt know english so how can i communicate.. shiittt...
and its a five application.. and plus the damn slow stupid PC keeps on hanging up.. what to do???
ottoke?

what a day... and i have to take a taxi cab this afternoon because its late already.. i only have 3 dirhams and .50 fils... ottoke..
what a day...

anyways those who greeted and remembers.. THANKS... KAMSAHAMNIDA.. ARIGATO!
thank you LORD for this day..that i am still breathing .. healthy and alive...

thanks for the GRACE... thanks for everything...
my wish... HELP me to be strong..and overcome all this!
BLESS my family and friends....
HOPE that the management of AL ASEEL will change for the better..

anyeong!

told you for the last days.. that i want to give up and and i even said it to the two girls i met last time... they were the past employees of AL ASEEL, i know that they were not being treated fair.. and that they dont deserve the life they had while working and after working at AL ASEEL.. but what to do??? i have to be unselfish.. i have to think of my family and i have a reason... it just suddenly left my mind..

im thankful for their advices.. but ottoke??
just like what kuya and kha said..let them be, its their own battle...
and i have my own battle too...
which i have to face ..not to escape.. but have to survive..
so GOD i am asking you now.. HELP me to be strong and endure all the things that i should i have to..
even you, have suffered enough but you just accept your fate..so i must accept mine too...
sorry for being a COWARD.....

thanks for giving me my family!!

i just wish GOODLUCK to all of us....

anyeong..

waah


me too im confused..
okay a few days ago i've decided to let go. to give up.. but
the next day.. i feel enlightened.. its not that i am saying that i am wrong or it is not worth giving up this job.. its just that i have to remember that i am here for my a reason and that is i wanted somehow to repay my mom's love and care for us.. through giving her some material things that she should be having i mean she deserve's everything the good in life... she means so much to us..
thanks mike and carol for encouraging and sorry for making you feel uneasy and burdened...

and plus.. from the movie... the lead actress say.. that "escaping is not a survival"..
truly indeed..that's what i've come up... im just escaping.....

and the next.. the sermon of father troy last friday.. is that i should have to believe in GOD and he will let things come to a great place....

i've been getting warning's of being terminated...
i just hope that they will see that i still needed them and that i work hard and i am not denying that i still have some faults.. but please just let me breathe....

sorrryyyy....

and so the day came taht i confessed to my bro and kha, that i dont tink i can make it to work.that i am giving up..
but they open up issues that i should be strong because its hard to turn back now...
sorry if i was selfish that i feel like this..
sorry...

escaping is not a survival..
soorrryy

i met uo with the pasr employees of AL ASEEL and i can feel their hatred and their regrets.. bu what can i do.. and i feel now the iron law of this fucking company.. but what to do..
i talk to them and i am now decided but i still dont have money..

kha came to the store to check me out because i didnt go home and i am nit answering nor texting back kuya.. i know that's bad..

and this fucking old man was really a pain in my life...

gomene'

ottoke???

still.. in my heart, mind, soul and body i really wanted to give up my fucking job!
im sorry i am a failed person...
they were too much.. they all care about the fucking money...

my life was really a mess.. i sooo hate me for making the decision...

im not good in decision.. LORD what have happen to me??
huhuhuhuhu........

can you please shed a light to me once more.....????
please take me out of this damn life...

am i not really belong here????

sheeett..help me once please..

hope my family would understand how i feel....

AL ASEEL is a place for damnation...it is a hell on earth
wtf, is that rule..

the restaurant beside them is there enemies so i dont have the right to talk to any of their staff and any affiliated person in that restaurant
i have to bring a small bag only
i have to answer their call and if i wasnt to able they will deduct a 50 dhms
all the things i essed up should be deducted from me
i cant talk any longer to the filipino of course you cannot give price.

in short you have no right, you are a slave.
you have to nod always..

sorry i dont think i can follow these..

if you were given a work, you cant refuse...

FUCK!

AYAW KO NA! PASEENSIYA NA PO TALAGA!..
SORRY....

anyeong...
happy kapuso day...
demo, why it feels so dark.. cant feel any love in the air and the saddest thing is.. LYN signed her cancellation visa today. i dunno what happen .. but she was being accused by our employer as a stealer.. huhuhuhu..
i so hate this scene.. i cant take this scene.. and now i was being also interrogated by this fucking old man.. huhuhuh.. LORD help me get out.. im in so much troubled...

i feel like i was in a pitch black hole.... omg!! waaaaaaaaaaaaaahhh..
who could save me.. do i have to go with someone.. huhuhuhuhuhu....................

actually it was given to me yesterday and i have to take taxi cab.. damn... it adds up to my expenses... aissshh... but they were looking for my visa which they didnt gave..so i called sir abdullah and told me to continue today...
okay im done and they let me sign my contract yesterday also..waahh LYN is really leaving.. ottoke????
i cant fulfill the job promise... waaahhhh

and... while on my way home this afternoon.. 2 man was asking me.. errhhh...
do i look like that.. i mean no offense but please.... eeeww..... i told you if only he's mr. saeed.. hahaha..

anyway..back to my contract... i know that their just hanging on me because of the project... not because im good.. aiiisshh.. because there's this one customer who told me that i'll be working with him till the end of the presentation of their case study.. omo.....

and there's a new filipino.. aww.. i dunno if he's with us or if he's with the management... gotta be careful...

i sooo fucking hate this old man... abu khaled... arrgghh....

waaaaaaaahhh.........

my supposed to be employer... already gave up on me..he told me that he cannot help me anymore, because he already have complete line up for his employees.. so SAD.. so this means i have to do best and experience the fucking life at AL ASEEL .. until they got tired and fire me.. omg!!!! ottoke???

so this means there will be so many salary deduction.. huhuhuhu.. how??? nande????

im sorry JACQ!!
this is the decision that you should be facing...
i can't back down now...

huhuhuhuhu..........

omoooo...

i dont wanna be so bitter or so negative for the whole month so im sharing this cute IU giffy....
mawningness...

anyways.. waahhh mi chyuh suh?  yeah i have the confidence to call my supposed to be employer yesterday and guess what he called back.. and he said that i dont sound like im okay .. huhu i wish he could help me although i know its really late..please just help me out from this fucked up messed worked life at AL ASEEL..
i so not making any progress.. i cant' work right.. i always feel so nervous.. sorry LORD....

and so i have been taking care the register and guess what.. im over of 10 dirhams and one slip is missing.. omo.. huhuhu.. of course i was being reported again.. waaaaaaaaahhh..

i'm a FAILURE....


and there's a car following me until madinat.. he even waved .. hahahahhaa.. as if i will fall.. if he's mr saeed .. hehehe.. why not..??? aisshhh..
hattte me...
LORD sorry.. mianhe.. gomenasai!!

omo..

omg, i dunno what to do.. if only there's someone who will take me.. aiisshhh...  carol keeps on reminding me to talk to my boss about my national id here.. but what's on my mind is for me to change work...

what's keeping me pre-occupied for days now is the situation i am with...

if i stay in that damn fucking company....

a. i'll be a total slave
b. i might get heart attack for their shouting
c. i might cause destruction to their property
d. i wont get a whole salary..i'll have deduction monthly
e. it was going to be so tiring
f. i might got insane

and if i go, i will disappoint my family....
i dunno... should i just sacrifice it all..

LORD.. what should i do...??

anyeong!

woah, the customer last night was a big time, he was asking to make an ID, and it took so many hours for him to wait.. and guess what he got bored.. the pc that i was typing on.. he put his palm.. *epal lang* and then started to talk to us, he said that he's been awake 24 hours and sometimes he only get 4-5hrs of sleep a day... and he has a house behind marina mall... oh well..he is driving a luxury car, and he has a well built body, he also said that he's a sporty person, he enjoyed taekwondo and gymnast... wooow... but he seems a bit lacking on the height department. he also got the usual arabic man who has a nice eyes and pointed nose.  He even went inside the counter checking on the ID, he even told me that i was in love daw, because he saw my giidyness.. aisshh if only he knew... and i told himno and i wish i was sir.. maybe he meant that i should have replied back that.. yeah im in love with you.. *kyaa*  pideeeee... kiberness.. ang arte.. and he replied that he was just joking.. *omo.. dont kid around...*

aiisshh how will my lovelife going start.. if i cant read between the lines.... or maybe i was just dreaming of a person like him.. *asaness* naman ako.... haaayy.... he smells good.. and kidded around again.. that if we pass by him... we have to pay for him..aiissshh.. koya... wag ganun... pero wala rin after the ID was made.. he just go... he didnt even say goodbye to us.. and i am ashamed to bid goodbye too.. because he might think that i was flirting with him... wisshh that i should have done ... heehee *desperate move ba itey*  even if i wanted to have his number,, i dont think i have the guts to call him.... aiisshh

and there this one customer... who was asking me to make a research project which i wasnt good noh... naku si belen nga lang ang ng work harder for our thesis back then.. now he was asking me to do it on my own... until the presentation and final reports are done.. omo.. *sakit sa bangs ni koya*... ako na lang kaya ang magaral. baka sakali... makakuha ako ng work na maayos.  aiiissssh....

my heart was always jumping whenever i hear our boss voices.. they keep on shouting and they let us feel like incapable.. aaiiisshh.. ottoke???? i hate hate hate this...

anyeong~

i so hate what i feel, i thought things are falling into place once i've found a job, though they were warnings and signs that i shouldnt have to continue working here, but ottoke? im so ashamed for my brother and my sister in law, they've been spending so much money on me and i cant take it anymore... although they were not saying anything.. huhuhuhu.. who will save me from this messed up work life!

i really hate the company's management, you have so many boss, and damn the workloads.... im sorry LORD if i was being a crybaby.. but i think this is beyond my capacity sorry for saying that anything i can do ..but right now im on the verge of giving up... help me please to hang on ... at least until in my third month???? i dunno.. what should i do.. i sooooo fucking hate my situation right now..

alll i can say is that im really SORRY to LORD, my family,my mom, my kuya to carol and to myself for thinking and feeling this now.. HUHUHUHU.. i am such a worthhless person... GOMENASAI!!!!

konnichiwa..........

UPDATE UPDATE:

okay i thought having a job can solve problem, but now that i have, i didnt' know the consequences of it.. i am sorry LORD.. i know this is just a test on me who doesnt have much experience about LIFE, but don't you think its kinda too much, but anyways this is what you gave me so its up to me to carry on, but please LORD, just keep on helping me.

This day was so much .. i have my first warning from my employer.. he told me that i was a LIER and i should just SHUT UP......and told me that i only came to their company to PLAY and not to work!  omo, what is he talking about, im not "working"................. oh good LORD help me... this people are so freak!  They need robots not human,and helping each other is not on their theme, they don't want people to work together.... they should get a ROBOT instead, people have a limitation to their capacity and they have heart, they can feel pain and shame, but they were... keep on shouting at us even if they were many customer inside the establishment.  AL ASEEL PRINTING PRESS, i curse you, especially you ABU KHALEED, ABU SALAM and ABDULLAH, you are freaking, fucking sooooo BAD!  You don't know how to treat human as people.  First i learned to do plagiarism in order to make all the projects you were asking us, you want us to make the impossible into a possible, just because of that DIRTY MONEY!

LORD just help me please to persevere.  Shield me from the destructive tongue and intense staring and freaking action from all my boss.

Shit, what really hurts me is that, we are cannot even defend ourselves from them.  BASTARD people soon you will get your punishment.

GOODLUCK on my LIFE!